Shattered Tears
by LC Black
Summary: There are no more tears, no more pleas, no more screams...there is nothing else for him. Leah's coming out a new person - heartless and emotionless - and it's all because of Jacob Black... Jacob x Leah
1. Prologue

**Shattered Tears  
**_Linna Celestea Black_

**Prologue **

Obscurity, tears, ragged sheets, hacked walls, ruined windows and a drenched, torn girl…all these were only the beginning of Leah's acts, her effects, her abilities.

But it wasn't her room…in fact; it was some rundown shack down the south of New York State. Leah had her own reasons for running away, and it didn't exactly involve the names Sam Uley or Emily Young…actually, it had more to do with a certain Jacob Black.

Surely the girl hadn't been attacked or insulted by Jacob…had she? Or did he say something about Sam, or mention something else to do with the Cullens'?

No, none of these reasons were even close to why Leah Clearwater, the angered, tall beauty was miles away from home, crying in an empty shack, screaming and tearing everything apart. None of these damned reasons even mattered to Leah. Not Sam, not the Cullens…not even her own family.

It was the fact that Jacob, her strong-willed, handsome Alpha – who once hate the thought – had imprinted…on a vampire spawn…and honestly, she wasn't sure who the hate the most…fate, the spawn, or herself, because really…

She had the chance. She had the chance to tell him about what he was to her, and to tell him to not forget her, to not imprint, as much as his destiny forced him to. She had the chance to hold him and kiss him and stare into his eyes, days and nights on end.

But she didn't. It was as simple as that.

Leah Clearwater, the girl who fought for everything she wanted, did everything she could, always tried her hardest, was to afraid to tell Jacob Black how she truly felt.

And now here she was, in a rundown, disgusting shack, bawling her eyes out, hoping that someone, anyone, would come back for her…come looking for her and reassuring her that the monster was just a dream she had and was never there, and Jacob was still looking for her, or at least for Jacob to find her and say something!

All just once…to finally admit the truth and not have him stare at her with frightened – or maybe even angry – eyes for the wrong reasons. If he had to act that way, then so be it…but only if he did because of his own feelings, because he really didn't love her.

Not because fucking fate forced him with a fucking baby. Yes, a child, a newborn child in fact! And he had imprinted, letting his heart and soul, fall for her…no, _it._ And to think that she protected it and it's mother, whom Jacob once loved.

She had seen inside his head many times, and she was the only one who could break through his wall of protection, something that he had finally mastered. He had one, true love, and that was Bella and Leah couldn't hate her for that. He loved Bella… but not because he imprinted on her, but because he truly loved her, and now, he _had_ to imprint on the thing that Bella had died for…

"All for a child…am I really that terrible?" she whispered to herself, and felt another dry tear slip down her cheek. Leah had disappeared for days, not eating, drinking, or even thinking. She went all instinct in this shut room and torn everything to shreds, hoping to let out all that anger.

And she did…all that anger and angst that was built up inside of her had finally evaporated. The beautiful werewolf had finally turned into an instinctive, bloody animal, searching for nothing but the strength to keep on fighting, and to finally go back.

She wanted to continue to cry, to feel her body die, day by day, tearing the shack down limb from limb and let it fall above her, crushing her to death, or just to starve herself, having neither water nor food. She wanted to stay isolated and forget everything, to become more of an animal than ever, just like Jacob did…

But right now, the only thing she could possibly do, was to go back…never to cry again or to yell at someone. Never to smile and never to laugh…not even to think…

All she wanted to do right now, was to go back to La Push and Forks and show Jacob and everyone else who she had become, and to prove to them that the old Leah was gone, and to show Jacob that she could live on without him, as much as she yearned for him everday.

Leah wanted to stand up on the top of a cliff, the waves smashing the bottom, and the wind brushing her long, black hair, staring at the sunset but neither feeling the bliss nor the pain.

All Leah really wanted, was to go back home, a new person, a new being, letting her old life disappear and to start anew, and prove that a girl could be a werewolf, and a great one at that. She'd be less annoying than Paul, she had promised that, and she wouldn't yell or mock, but stand silently in the background and listen to _Sam's_ orders, not Jacob's. _Sam_ was her Alpha, and it was going to stay that way.

Jacob didn't matter anymore…he was just another bloodsucker, another Cullen just waiting to happen, but not in the way the other's did. He would join their family once _it_ grew old enough, and it was possible that they would move to Alaska by then, and if that did happen…Leah would hate every cell in his body.

She wanted to change her whole life to work out _her _way, and to be perfect _for her, _without even bothering to keep Jacob in mind. No one mattered to her anymore, not even her own mother and brother. Sue had Seth, and Seth was strong enough…

No more broken windows, crushed walls, shredded sheets…no more tears and screams and smiles and laughs…no more nothing!

Leah wanted to be the new, perfect girl that no one hated but no one loved.

And you know what?

She was going to succeed with it too…

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Yeah I know this is some messed up shit, but still, I really wanted to portray Leah differently. We've all seen her angry side, and part of her depressed side, but have we ever really seen her angered/depressed side, _together_? She's seen having both emotions at different points, and "Shattered Tears" is one of my darker Blackwater fics. I really wanted to put this up last night, but because of the fact that FF was temporarily shut down and that there was like 400 new stories put up, I didn't want it to be a lost story that no one saw.

So here it is, an angsty-romance by yours truly! I do realise that Leah is being a bit self-centered, and I'm being repetitive, but that was kind of the point. Thank you to all reviewers to "Tempting Confessions" and for "Reminiscences of Dawn". My other story "Infinite Moonlight" and "Breakaway" should be up soon as well.

Sincerely,

Linna Celestea Black :)

(Call me LC, or just Linna.)


	2. Chapter 1: A Different Girl

**Shattered Tears  
**_Linna Celestea Black_

**Chapter 1: A Different Girl**

"It's been a week," Seth whispered. Jacob turned towards his "brother" and rolled his eyes, remaining a small distance behind the rest of the pack. "Aren't you the slightest bit worried?"

"Was she he slightest bit worried when _I_ disappeared?" he hissed.

"Actually, yes."

Freezing for a second, Jacob looked towards Seth with a glimmer of anguish in his eyes, but withdrew all horrid thoughts of what could've happened to his "sister". He attempted to catch up to pace with the Sam and the others, but they had already disappeared from view. His legs grew larger as they ripped through his too-small jeans as he phased into a wolf.

_Seth, shut up, we have to catch up_, Jacob pointed out. Seth caught up behind him; already phased at the same time Jacob did, and shook his head softly.

_We really should find her, you can tell that Sam's worried, and that's never a good sign,_ Seth growled. _It's not even funny anymore. I get it if you go all emo wolf, but it's not normal for Leah to be like that._

_Excuse me?_ Jacob growled, his jaw almost dropping as his barred teeth flashed white.

"Both of you, shut up_,_" Sam called out as the two wolves caught sight of the rest of the pack. It was a formidable sight, the way the all halted by the clearing. Jacob and Seth caught up and skidded to a stop when they saw what was before them.

Her long black hair was cut short just long enough to cover the back of her neck where scars drew to the front of her body. Her distinguished black eyes were now flat, empty even, and her cheekbones seemed higher and sharper then usual. Her lips were now plump but jagged, and her body was slouched over.

This was Leah Clearwater.

Seth practically jumped over the rest of them to run up to his sister before Jacob bit his hind leg and pulled him back, causing Seth to whimper. No one paid heed to him. Instead, they all gawked at the lifeless Leah standing in front of them in a long, silk-layered white dress that covered many little drawn scars sewn into her native skin.

"Leah?" Sam whispered. She stared forward at no one in particular before looking directly at Sam, no glint of happiness or recognition, which – clearly visible to the rest of pack – made him step back a bit.

She nodded slightly, and stepped towards them.

"Are you okay?" someone whispered, but no one bothered to figure out who.

Leah smiled, but it wasn't wistful or smug. It was something different, but it didn't make anyone feel better. Jacob and Seth – the only two who were in wolf form – were staring at each other with a look of insecurity.

"I'm fine, can't you see?"

And they all froze.

The voice wasn't hers. It wasn't natural, especially for a being such as them, with warmth in every aspect of their voice, at least towards each other. This voice was stone cold, as if some recording of a robotic being.

_Leah? _Seth whimpered. Only Jacob could hear, but everyone recognized the whimper, and they all turned to see tears fill up in Seth's eyes. This was his sister? What had happened?

Leah looked at him and felt her throat knot up, as she choked back tears. It was easy to pull off a charade, but this she couldn't handle. She looked away from him, which Jacob saw immediately.

_Regret? _He thought, which caused Seth to look up at Leah too. The others did so as well as she regained her composure and sighed.

"So where are you off to now?"

No one knew whether or not to speak.

"To the Cullens' to check on Renesmee," Sam whispered, although the attempted whisper went unfazed.

"Well to the best of luck for you," she smiled and walked forward right past them, until she felt Jacob's paw grab onto the back of her shirt.

"Yes Jacob?"

He looked at her with remorse in his eyes, though she acted as if she didn't notice at all. Her composure was stable and she was proud that she didn't burst into a fit that very moment. She knew he wouldn't phase, as it wasn't the time to make the moment more awkward. Instead, he stood there, his face drooping.

_There, good as new, _she sighed and tugged away from his grip, walking forward through the forest. Her footsteps against the brown, crusted leaves were all she heard, other than the grumbling behind her. She took more steps forward and heard the creek beside her whistling against the sharp winds.

All these natural sounds whispered around her, until she stopped mid-step and the sound of his howl, the wolf's howl.

"Leah, stop. What is wrong with you?"

His voice sent shivers down her spine, and she forced herself not to turn around and beg for an apology.

"You've turned into a coward."

So she couldn't help herself. Her lips separated and she scoffed, her eyes shut.

"You're one to talk. Now if you don't mind, I have a life I've got to get back to."

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm a coward? You're walking away from the only life you have! You're being selfish!" he growled. Leah turned around and stared at his disgusted face and his quickly clothed body.

"If life means getting screwed over by the ones that matter most more times than any human mind can handle, than I'd rather being considered selfish. You can only get screwed over so many times before you got to take things into your own hands," she pointed out in a calm, stable tone.

This time, she turned around and phased out of her white dress as she ran off through the forest. She had no time for petty arguments. She needed to clear out her thoughts. She needed to figure out how to get through this. She needed to stop being Leah.

There were following footsteps behind her, and a howl, before everything silenced. Leah bit her lower lip after she phased back. In nothing but an outfit consisting of shorts and a baggy t-shirt, she walked on her lawn, while her mother was soundly sleeping in her bedroom.

Closing her eyes, she jumped on the window ledge, where she slipped into her bedroom and grabbed a map and extra pairs of clothes, in case of more unnecessary events where she must've phased.

"Leah!"

His voice called out from behind her and she made sure she wasn't too quick to turn and see who it was. Jacob ran faster than she had ever seen him, as he landed right there in her old room. Her eyelashes fluttered as he stared at her with the most ridiculed face possible.

"Screwed over?"

Keeping an established poise, she looked up at him with a look only she could pull off.

"Jacob, please don't act like you don't know. There was something there. We _both_ saw it, but you decided to let fate get the better of you. There. That's getting screwed over."

She left him for the third time that day and paced off carefully, knowing that he wouldn't follow a third time.

_That was it. You showed him up. You proved to him. You did everything you could. Now it's his time to shine and save whatever there is to save._

There was a whimper. Leah was positive. She had no reaction.

From now on, thus was the way of life.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **

Cute? No? I don't really know. I don't want to rush this. But I'm assuming this story will be a maximum of a 15 chapters. I do realise Leah hasn't completely changed, but to be honest, I doubt she could completely change over one night. She'll be ruthless, don't worry.

Anyways, please review, because that gives me the energy to write on.

goodbye c:


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